Mr. Goodpuppy and the Baby
Karen Arnoff ©1990, © revised 2010
When parents learn that a second baby is on the way, they expect that their first child will go through an adjustment period. But what if their first "child" is a dog? When the baby comes home, owners may be surprised if their longtime loving pet begins to steal, pester, or worse, show signs of aggression. Not all good puppies will walk away. And, all too often, owners don't take action until their dog snarls at or bites the baby. Expectant parents can do a great deal to insure that their dog adjusts to the new baby. The first step is to expect that some adjustments may need to be made. The second step is to know what these adjustments will be and how to change their dog's behavior in advance of the baby's arrival.What to Watch For
There are three areas that dog owners must consider before they bring a new baby into their home:- Their relationship with their dog.
- Their dog's current behaviors.
- Their dog's sensitivity to movement, touch, sounds, being grabbed and/or other stimulation.
What Owners Must Do
First, wise dog owners will make sure that their relationship with their dog is balanced and that their dog must be able to be a spectator and not always a participant in their lives. Their dog must 1) not be possessive of them 2) not compete for and able to share attention and 3) must be subordinate to them. Secondly, owners need to assess which behaviors they have currently accepted (barking, jumping, pawing, stealing, chewing, etc.) that will not be acceptable when the baby comes and they must change those behaviors now. Finally, expectant parents should identify and help their dog build a tolerance to things that he finds even moderately frightening or intolerable or things that evoke a slight reaction in him, They need to realize that whatever their dog is even slightly intolerant of or reactive to will intensify with the presence of a new baby.Mr. Goodpuppy's Perspective
Picture this: "The Wellmeanings," ("Mr. Goodpuppy's" owners) are tense and/or cautious when their baby and Mr. Goodpuppy first meet. Mr. Goodpuppy thinks the baby is causing this uneasiness because The Wellmeanings were always relaxed around him before. Now, he 1) gets yelled at for jumping, smelling or pawing at the new crying bundle or for stealing the baby's toys or diapers; 2) is sleep is repeatedly interrupted by a chronically crabby, creeping, crying, creature and; 3) as the baby grows, Mr. Goodpuppy has to deal with piercing shrieks, diapers that reek and tapping feet (on his head), being grabbed, poked and stabbed, and, if that's not enough, being used as a step ladder to the couch; or, worse, 4) being isolated just for being the Goodpuppy he was always allowed to be. Poor Mr. Goodpuppy!Mr. Goodpuppy needs help dealing with all of these new stresses. And, unless his behaviors are modified and in control before the new baby comes, Mr. Goodpuppy may associate all of these negatives with the baby, not with his behaviors.